I ended it with my Trainer.
Today would have been our one year "Anniversary" of working together, but instead its over. Feels kinda wierd--almost like a "Break-up" ya know?
Its gunna be strange-especially after a whole year together (thats even longer than Ive been with my BF!)
But..like any type of relationship--things change. The 1st six months were the "Honeymoon " Period--ya know when EVERYTHING is so hunky-doory & Perfect?? Its all new, exciting & great. Then...then like so many relationships do....things start to change. The newness wears off. The calls arent returned as fast as they were in the beginning...ya know-all the lil' things that change as the newness fades. Plus some of the excitement was gone when I reached my 1st Goal (The cruise)..and I never really got the fire back.
Even though my life COMPLETELY changed after those first 6 months (I started working full time, Blakes school schedule changed, and I met Chris) I tried my best to keep up with the 2 & 3-a day workouts and eating 100% clean but DAYUMMMMMM. ALL it really created for me was guilt.
Guilt when I didnt have 4-5 HOURS a day to myself anymore to workout.
Guilt when I would hafta cut a workout short becuz I was gunna be late to work.
Guilt that I was using time for the gym when I could be spending it w/My son & my dogs.
Guilt that I was wasting my Trainers time by not following the Program 100%.
Guilt about food.
Guilt. Guilt. Guilt.
Honestly....I feel like I TRIED. And He tried. But sometimes, Like I said -things change.
My life has changed--
My goals have changed--
and to be perfectly honest--I DONT want to spend the rest of my life Eating ONLY oatmeal, asparagus, broccoli & green beans as my sources of carbs.
(No matter how great it might make me look-FOR ME...its not realistic to live ALL YEAR long like that.)
Im gunna miss him...and Ill be forever grateful for EVERYTHING I've learned over the past year.....
Friday, February 1, 2008
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11 comments:
Dana, I love your posts and your honesty. This was a very touching post.
Thanks for keeping it real and sharing all of this with us. Love you much!
That kind of lifestyle is even hard on the top bodybuilders and fitness performers so beat yourself up too hard. You ought to hear some of them go off on the deep end about their diets! However, I can relate and understand 100% what you are going through. That is how I was last year, couldn't get a grip on cameron's anger outbursts, fighting the system, didn't have time to workout or eat right,, so I am with you sistah! By writing it, you are helping yourself come to terms with the changes you have made in your life! I'll be there for you!!
I meant "don't" beat yourself up too much, damn fingers, too fat for the keyboard!
Girl..you made the right choice :) Hope you and Chris are doing something fun for the Superbowl (and I hope he's feeling better!). Miss you-Dede
There is my Cali girl...I agree with Udenia, so quit packing your bags, and kick the guilt to the curb...geeze, have I been outta it for that long...you and chris? 1 year? Damn, where the heck was I?? Have missed you girl...and thanks for the Christmas card...hugssss
Only you can make that choice and it sounds like a good one for you. Take time and do what is important for you.
great post girlie. you KNOW I relate and think you did the right thing. :) talk to ya soon...xoxo.
ok...just wanted to tell ya, I got a new blog. what can I say? :) now we can talk EVEN MORE...hahaha.
Good for you Dana. When we were talking about the trainer thing the other day, I guess I didn't realize you were still with them. I'm glad you ended it. Just like any relationship, remember the good times and forget the rest.
Time to get things back together, friend. You can do it and I know you will succeed...the healthy way! Love ya!
A friend told me about your blog so i thought I'd check it out. I agree with beka - I love your honesty and really appreciate all that you had to say. Sounds as though you made a very healthy decision for yourself. :)
Life is too short for guilt. I didn't realize you were still with him too before. I know you made the right choice for you congrats.
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